Page XII

Wave upon wave rises out of the ocean -
though truth is one its disciples are many

The autumn night -
           I think about the day after
                        my death

Was I dreaming? Was it reality?
Were we ever together,
or am I waiting here for no one?

the short night -
          deep grasses along the river,
the bullfrogs croaking

the dawn light -
       anchored near the pier
the fishing boats bob and gleam

early morning light -
       the white flower of the begonia
catches his eye first

the blooming hibiscus made me
           light the candles
and turn off the lights in the room

Drop one world, you pick up the other
follow your breath until it's there no more

Go down into the well
if you're looking for water
Stare up into the night sky
if you're waiting for the dawn
But don't think the joy you seek
is something other than yourself

The night is brief, but the hours I wait up for you
                       last for years

He knew it was enough -
         to ask and to receive,
to drink of the cool spring water

Look into your existence.
Find out what it is
that gives you life.
You won't pass this way again.

The flowers bloom without a word
But we who are walking by the roadside
hear them speak to us

how cool the breeze on the bridge -
         the storm ended, the rapids rush
down the Rio Cuale

the leaves of the fig tree rustle in the evening wind
the memory of that boy flutters in my heart like a breeze

my poems don't give a fuck what you think about them
they can kiss you off as well as anyone or invite
you in for some afternoon tea baby it's all up to you

Tomorrow he'll come again, or he won't, either way I'll
      have a white vase full of red roses to remind me

you try sweet things, you
try making threats, you try
seduction lies and diversions,
you coo promises then you give
the silent treatment,
you scheme and swear and
stamp your feet,
you try to tame it but
the mind won't beg fetch or heel

The sparrow,
        with all these crumbs around my table,
must think that I am generous

No matter how long I gaze at the mountain and river
     reflected in your eyes, they still look beautiful

to L.T.

The years pass by, but my heart stays close to you as this ring
I wear and never take off that you sent me so long ago

It's autumn, and my heart tonight is clear -
         the lights across Banderas Bay
shimmer ever so brightly

first evening of autumn -
          even the moon tonight looks older

Is that thunder I hear off in the distance?
or the sound of my blood pounding in my head
as I lie awake waiting for you?

When will he come?  Will it be tomorrow,
or perhaps the day after that?
Why do I go on questioning myself when
it is only he who has the answer.

I was lost, and you found me.
I said, I have nothing to offer you.
You held up the mirror of love and showed me it wasn't so.
Then I was too shy to tell our story.
You put the pen in my hand and said, Start writing.

every day I walk walk walk the soles of my shoes
and my discontents just about worn out

I'm ill, and cannot stand
       the sight of my own notebook -
all week the muse goes unanswered

hurricane winds -
           in the morning light, the tide's swell
goes over the seawall

If only I could live forever -
with a gust of the afternoon wind
brightly colored leaves fill the autumn sky

Things happen,
people come and go.
Though you haven't lit the fire,
still you burn your fingers.

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