Page III

The fishing boats stream into
              San Francisco Bay, and out
in search of their catch
When will I cease this longing for him?

Break open the poem what you've found
is none other than yourself

How simple it is to live!
We make no effort at all
and there we are back again,
awake in our morning beds

You've put an unknowable distance
between us -
It can't go on -
The summer cicada cries out in the night
as if pierced by love

His cock his balls in my mouth
the damp musty smell of autumn in the
            crack of his ass

You keep calling out my name
but I won't give an answer.
It's locked up inside me.
You come to break down that door
smelling of roses and sweet wine.

Picking your nose or chanting those sutras
wherever you are that's it

I've been two poles apart
One desiring intimacy, the other a vast
When lightning strikes
the whole course of a life changes
like a river suddenly running upstream

Put your question to the place where
            the mind can't go -
You'll come back a happy man

I go on keeping secrets.
Somewhere inside, words don't reach me.
We lay close together at night
deciphering each other's lips.

Don't say I haven't warned you.
There's a murderer loose inside me.
Anyone that doesn't surrender his love
is cut down, just like that.

This knowing inside me that walks down
steps without ever leaving the room.
I walk into a room lit with my own presence.
I taste whole oceans in a single grain of salt.

Getting ready for bed, a loneliness
I thought I'd lost track of years ago
comes back for a visit

So much I haven't lived,
even in dreams -
the fog horn sounds mournful tonight
over the distant bay

You can't go on being so beautiful
without hurting someone's eyes.
The light you give off is not reflected
from the sun or anyone else.

My days gather around you
like a powerful magnet.
I'll be that planet you sent spinning
into orbit,
and the stars in your night sky.
All my seasons now are gathering
at your feet.

I've been in your light for so long
my body goes on glowing.
Heads turn in the street as I walk by.
Your name is on everyone's lips,
though they don't know it.

All right, I've just about had enough.
I mean to live where life flows
like water from a pitcher, and without asking,
everyone's glass is filled to the brim.
Don't ask me to live for less than that.

I suffer like no one else I make up stories
     about my lonely childhood
my heartless mother and father the grim
     realities of life Then I put them
all together in a sack I smash it to bits

When I think of him
my heart glows like a lamp
When he sees me
it brightens his mirror
My lamp reflected in his mirror

Anger's the dark night of my love with it
I make the stars come out and the moon rise

What we've found is not at all
what we expected -
We've struck gold in a vein
they said was full of copper,
Sweet wine pours from every water tap

Being with you is like being nowhere else
Lilacs bloom in the midst of my winter
The dead come back to life,
speaking in tongues

What we know is only a measure
of the depth of our ignorance -
To sit quietly is to take a sounding

one hundred thousand million words
but no one is set free
the heart that tips the scale
doesn't say a thing

Something other than what we are
has an existence of its own inside us.
When we close our eyes, it sees.
When we are most distant, it's up close.
When we fall asleep one last time, it
          wakes up completely.

This autumn evening -
don't go, moon,
watch over me

death's bigger and more ferocious than the
           whole damn lot of us
don't go asking it questions you might not
           want answered

Whatever's for sale I can't use it
What no one can sell,
I'll give my life for that

You go on loving me despite my protests.
You fill both our glasses to the brim.
I throw mine against the wall, and shout,
But it was you who said this would last forever.

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